Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
