I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
