We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
