Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
