The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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