Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
