How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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