can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
