it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
