The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have tasted many bathrooms
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
