i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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