About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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