I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
