Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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