Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
