I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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