You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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