im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
