Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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