She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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