Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I AM VODKA MAN
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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