so explain again why im purple
no
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
