Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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