you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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