DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
