i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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