What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
