thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
