I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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