I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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