we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
