yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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