Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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