the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
