I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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