Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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