I love black thongs
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
