the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I look better un-naked...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
