does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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