So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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