You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
