he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Houston, we have a squirter
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This is classic penis vs brain.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
