girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
