did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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