4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Someone signed my nipple.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
