I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
