You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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