And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
