Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
