Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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